Not to be confused with any of the other SOTU drinking games. And there are a disturbing number.

One sip for each mention of the following:

• American people
• Congress
• Bipartisanship 
• Military not otherwise specified

One drink for each mention of the following:

• End of war in Iraq (add V for Victory hand signs, minus the one hand you had blown off by an IED)
• End of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell (drink with gay hand gesture or have sex with someone of the same gender in public)
• Capture of Osama bin Laden (optional: may replace one drink with six sips, for SEAL Team 6, or you can be a traitor to America)
• Kim Jong Il (fake-cry into drink first)
• Gabby Giffords (quickly move to Arizona and run for Congress between drinks)

One pretend drink for each euphemism for the following:

• Occupy movement
• Recession
• Upcoming election
• Congress

When the following people appear on the screen:

• Michelle Obama: Eat a salad
• The Supreme Court: Sip from the flask you totally have hidden under your robe
• Joe Biden: Do not drink, you already can’t control your fucking mouth
• John Boehner: Take a shot of something orange
• Congress sitting all together instead of on their proper sides, making it incredibly awkward when half the people are clapping and their seatmates aren’t: mix two clashing beverages

If a Supreme Court justice mouths anything snotty:

• Take a drink while clutching the Constitution (note: you will need to acquire a Constitution for the speech, and why don’t you already have one?)
• If it’s Thomas, take two drinks (just pour them down your throat, since your jaw will have dropped in shock that he came so close to speaking)

If anyone shouts “You lie!”:

• Chug whatever you have and get alcohol poisoning and die, you don’t really want to live in this country anyway.