I'm a very busy woman and I haven't got all day: Archive

They don't even HAVE Gullah Gullah Island in...

Me: 
Avery: Is that Gullah Gullah Island?
Me: Yes.
Avery: Booda booda!
Me: 
Avery: No, it's binyah binyah.
Me: Yes.
Avery: Then what's booda booda?
Me: ...a thing you just made up.

Mar 1st

3 tags

Mar 1st

Feb 28th

3 tags

What do I wear to SXSW?

Jeans and t-shirts? Do I have to dress up for my panel? What will the weather be like? What about inside? (i.e. will it be lovely outside and air-conditioned out the wazoo inside?) CAN I WEAR FLIP-FLOPS?! One of the few things I miss about Tulsa: flip-flops nine months a year. These are important questions and I need answers. If I keep not eating I will get to actually purchase new clothes, and I...

Feb 28th

guillee asked: Why can’t I ever think of fun or interesting questions to ask people?

Feb 28th

alanharris asked: When you and Avery go back and forth on this here Tumblr it's the cutest thing in the world. Also funny.

Feb 28th

Since I know you totally want updates every ten...

Nap (from time of previous post ‘til now) made pain mostly go away. Still no appetite. At least I’ll get all skinny without having to work out or deprive myself of anything! Going to sleep some more and continue to ponder just how the snow was melting earlier while it snowed. Crazy talk.

Feb 27th

1 tag

Please get this thing out of me

Since coming back from the ER (where I spent 11 hours, if I haven’t mentioned) on Monday, I have had either nausea, cramps, general stomach upsetness, or, currently, sharp stabbing pains like someone is stabbing me. Sharply.

Feb 27th

jakec asked: When you greet someone, do you go for the handshake, the quick hug, the quick hug with the kiss on the cheek, or the warm embrace and a kiss on both cheeks? Or do you just grab their breasts (my personal favorite)?

Feb 27th

texburgher asked: I HAVE BEEN TAKEN IN BY THESE BEFORE. AND EVERY TIME, IT'S THE SAME OLD RUSE. "ASK ME SOMETHING SO THAT I CAN IGNORE YOUR DUMB QUESTION, DUMMY."

WELL, NOT THIS TIME. I'M NOT FALLING FOR IT. I'M NOT GOING TO ASK A QUESTION. SEE? DAMNIT.

Feb 27th

7 notes

2 tags

When I sneeze

aedison: clapifyoulikeme: aedison: clapifyoulikeme: Avery says “bless you” even though she’s an atheist. Why, you ask? Not because society has ingrained it in her, but because that’s her way of keeping the Chanukah Fairy from stealing my soul. Also, sometimes she says “bless you” repeatedly, in case I sneeze and she’s not around. Abby neglected to mention that the holiday of Hannukah...

Feb 27th

aedison asked: Why are you so pretty?

Feb 27th

When I sneeze

aedison: clapifyoulikeme: Avery says “bless you” even though she’s an atheist. Why, you ask? Not because society has ingrained it in her, but because that’s her way of keeping the Chanukah Fairy from stealing my soul. Also, sometimes she says “bless you” repeatedly, in case I sneeze and she’s not around. Abby neglected to mention that the holiday of Hannukah came about because the Hannukah...

Feb 27th

The Chanukah Fairy wants you to...

…put something in my askhole.

Feb 27th

1 tag

When I sneeze

Avery says “bless you” even though she’s an atheist. Why, you ask? Not because society has ingrained it in her, but because that’s her way of keeping the Chanukah Fairy from stealing my soul. Also, sometimes she says “bless you” repeatedly, in case I sneeze and she’s not around.

Feb 27th

1 tag

DIRTY CURLING WHORES

They’re rushing more condoms to the Olympic Village after the assembled athletes used up the 100,000 condoms—14 for every athlete, coach, and trainer at the Olympics—that Olympic planners laid in for the games. -Dan Savage, Slog

Feb 27th

Feb 26th

Finally going to sleep.

Thank god for people in other time zones.

Feb 26th

Hmm?

My tummy hurts. Why does my tummy hurt? It’s hurt since I got back from the hospital. Why? Can you fix it? I can’t sleep. I’m tired but I can’t sleep. Can you sleep? Why can’t you sleep? The internet is boring. I want a cookie. That would make my tummy hurt though. Maybe no cookie. Thin Mints wouldn’t hurt. Can I have some Thin Mints? No one brought me Thin...

Feb 26th

27 notes

1 tag

TEAM DRAMA QUEEN MARY

Feb 25th

Look, I *had* to eat that entire sleeve of Ritz,...

Goddamn Girl Scouts.

Feb 25th

1 tag

Feb 25th

46 notes

poeks: GLMA →

GLMA, Gay & Lesbian Medical Association, provides an online search engine for queer friendly primary care providers, specialists, therapists, dentists, and other health professionals in your area. Okay, so, I don’t so much need a gay dentist, but as far as therapists and OB/GYNs are… *I* need a gay dentist. In all seriousness, it’s not as far as I can tell for “queer...

Feb 24th

I just got home.

I went to the doctor at 11:15 (twelve hours and forty minutes ago). After about an hour there (doctor running late, obviously), I went to the ER. Then I was there for ten hours. Details to follow. All you need to know right now is that I watched Dances with Wolves. Oh, and no appendicitis.

Feb 23rd

IS IT TOO LATE?

DID I MISS KATE(’s birthday)?! I got you a cravat in the shape of an archeologist, and also an archeologist in the shape of a cravat. And a pony.

Feb 23rd

10 notes

My mommy told me I need to go to the doctor

So I am. After class. Priorities.

Feb 22nd

Luckily, our professor is from Sierra Leone, is widely traveled, has worked and lived all over Europe, and is diligently pushing the lefty socialist agenda of affordable, equal health care.

Feb 22nd

The kids in my class either a) do not know what an HMO does or b) think they help the people. America’s future, ladies and gentlemen.

Feb 22nd

1 tag

Maybe I have appendicitis?

Or not. I don’t know. But it’s hurt for several hours now. It hurt in two places, and now just in one. It gets worse and then better. It gets worse if I need to pee. I have taken several pills for gastrointestinal issues. It hurts when I move. It feels kind of like a pulled muscle. I do not have time for this. Moms, please weigh in?

Feb 22nd

See, this piece of Marx is SUPER easy to read, because I’m an expert on the history of France in the first half of the 19th century. So I totally get his references, and know which Louis he means. And when he says “as we know”, I do know! It’s great! My favorite one so far! Gosh, I could just read about Louis and Louis and obscure French phrases all day! If there’s...

Feb 22nd

2 tags

Me: You need to shave! You have a little mustache!

14-year-old brother: You need to shave...your annoying head...right off your shoulders.

Feb 22nd

Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit

Mom: 
Me: Hey, do you read *my* blog ["Tumblr" is far too Web 3.0 for her]?
Mom: I didn't know you had a blog.
Me: I don't. I don't have a blog. No blog. I don't even have the internet.
Mom: Oh, you better believe I'm going to read it now.
Mom: ...
Mom: As soon as I find it. Where is it?
Me: I DON'T HAVE A BLOG. Also, I'm not going to tell you.

Feb 22nd

14 notes

1 tag

Looking at what my parents had for dinner

Me: Is that a giant hunk of trayfe?

Mom: No, it's a *medium-sized* hunk of trayfe. What kind of Jew do you think I am?

Feb 22nd

5 notes

Feb 21st

Watch

When a small dog regards himself as the protector of an enormous elephant, the two become inseparable. This is the one that made me cry. Like, holy crap. Beautiful. ALL THE WAY TO THE END.

Feb 20th

1 tag

GUYS DO NOT WATCH THE ONE WITH THE LION AND THE...

Feb 20th

Watch

Not as good as Maya’s, but still pretty awwww-inducing. Stop it with about a minute to go, because the end is lame.

Feb 20th

I refuse to play this porn star name thingy due to...

phyllis-stein: yowhatsthehaps: And also because mine is stupid. Fighter Lockwood. Misty Blessing. Not bad, actually.

Feb 19th

We had slightly different experiences.

Avery: God, I wish I could redo high school.
Abby: I wish I could do it again.
Avery: We're saying the same thing.
Abby: No, you're saying you wish you could go back and do it better. I mean I wish I could do it AGAIN, right now.
Avery: ...

Feb 19th

46 notes

Are other people enjoying the wonder that is...

What are you using? (I’m using ChromedBird, AdBlock, FlashBlock, Google Dictionary, Google Reader Plus, New-Google-Doc, RSS Subscription Extension, Session Manager, Stop youtube autoplay, and Tumblr Dashboard)

Feb 19th

5 notes

1 tag

Feb 19th

1 tag

I'm four years old.

Me: My tummy huuuuuuuuuuuurts.
Avery: Is it because you ate too much at the [super super tasty] Mediterranean place?
Me: Yeeeeeeeesssss. Fix ittttt....why aren't you fixing ittttt?
Avery: I'm 3300 miles away. Also, you *always* eat too much at the [super super tasty] Mediterranean place. You have to not go there, eat less, or quit complaining about your tummy hurting.
Me: Whyyyyyyyy do you haaaaaaate me?

Feb 19th

1 tag

Feb 19th